Particularly today, for the whole day, I felt blue without any specific reason. I went outside to a shopping mall but I had to go back due to sudden dizziness after lunch. I had a nap, but still I felt blue.

I wish I could have the guts to do youtube as ‘English’ …Lol I think to open myself up and show my face would be the last thing I could do

So I opened up my blog space

I just feel so..wishy washy I wanna sabotage this ‘boredom’

These days the first thing I do in the morning is to check the calendar. My period does not start yet. I used to have a very punctual 30 day term until last month. I even got a hormone shot last month at the OB clinic for the first time ever in my life. A ‘Progesterone’ shot. I just wanted to try following my doc’s advice. It wasn’t painful when I got the shot but the pain started the next day…damn my arse became so painful for several days. I would never experience it again!!

So, perhaps I just get through ‘PMS’ now.

These days I do sleep talking almost every night and I really wanna be free of it. Sometimes I awake at 4 in the morning by alerting myself of my talking! The dreams are most intense. I do not remember the story of dreams but I think inside a dream, I can’t hesitate to speak out when there’s injustice in my perspective….haha

But I really wanna stop sleep talking.

So I’m gonna tell myself at bedtime ‘I know this is a dream‘ repeatedly until I fall asleep.

Wish me good luck!

ps) I was happy and grateful when I texted as ‘i felt melancholy today and I dunno why’ and I got an immediate response from him just as simple one though. Cause it took me a huge ‘courage’ to say that..maybe it could’ve been ignored too right?

ps 2) I got a skin issue these days and I’m using steroid liquid lotion right after a shower to prevent irritation and dryness.. I am kind of guessing it might affect my mood? Been using it for 3~4 days now and I’m gonna stop it.